Wednesday, July 6, 2011

The Linden Runs

"Where, oh where were you last week? 
Why did you make us hash all alone?
You fat, lazy bastards, you weren't even here. 
So we fucked all the virgins and drank all the beer!"
-Newly learned Hash song, courtesy of Moldy Ho.

Last Hash, Peace Corps volunteers rolled out in force for two Shitty
Linden trails! Behold, pictures of all the fun that most of you (no,
not you Deaf Lesbian and Hash Hoochie) missed!


Saturday's trail, N-Dust-Trail, had us up and down sand pits, slogging
through muddy, swampy, flatlands, ducking under bushes on a never
ending horse trail, clambering over two rickety wooden bridges and
sneaking our way under the rusty, monolithic, long forgotten and
abandoned aluminum factory. All with shots of RUM along the way. On
on!


After a killer On On, where Moldy Ho led us in an array of filthy new
Hash songs we debauched through the night and woke to breakfast and
then hit Sunday's trail, Hangover Hill. 








True to its name, the trail was up and down sand hills, canyons, valleys and more
freakin sand hills. 


Although that trail was shorter, it required more endurance.
I think we may have even seen Suckme Suckme sitting down on trail, that Sinner! 
Even our fearless leader, ChopSuzuki fell for some evil false trails and looked a wee bit haggard at the On on.

Monday, July 4, 2011

After one long run and one gruelling one in Linden we are now ready for another...

  Rambo and Swampy have volunteered to set and it will be this weekend (9th or 10th) July 2011

I will get back to you by wednesday with all the necessary info.

See you soon

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

How To Set a Hash Run


Whilst setting a hash is similar the world over, there are local variations caused by a) where the originator of the particular kennel first started hashing, b) financial considerations, c) local customs, d) litter laws (how well they are enforced) e) terrain.

Here in Guyana, the Hash uses Shredded Paper (usually US embassy secrets, but sometimes UK High Commission secrets, and of late GUYSUCO secrets   ....  they really don't want people to know how they are wasting the money!), although flour may be used if the trail is mostly on road.  During wet season, the flour washes away, and in the bush, insects eat it, and the colour is normally too close to the colour of the surrounding sand.

In Georgetown and it's environs, a small amount of paper (half a handful) every other lantern post or even every 200 yards will suffice to mark trail.  Outside of G/T more paper should be used, since people tend to believe we are working black magic on them when they see us laying the paper, and tend to shift it.  Kids also have a habit of playing with the shreddies.

A single pile of paper indicates the trail for the hounds to follow, and as long as paper is laid at decent intervals and not too well hidden, the hashers will find and follow it.

Check points:  two piles of paper laid side by side will indicate a check point.  Check points a) make the trail more interesting b) cruel, c) evil, d) fun, e) and allow the tail enders to do some catching up. 

Hares (those setting the run) should always indicate beforehand the number of people who must reach the check point, before the hashers are allowed to continue on .. note hares do not count in that number, they are not persons!!  Under normal circumstances 7 - 10 is a good number.  However, when in Jungle terrain, it is always better to increase the number.  The more people on the hash, the more it spreads out  .... the tail enders have been known to come on in about 1/2 hr after the front runners!!, so the more hashers, the more false trails, the better.

After the check point it is customary to have 2 or more trails going off in differing directions, with the first pile of paper being placed anywhere within 300yds of the check point.  Hashers are encouraged to call out "On On" when they encounter the paper piles.  this is especially important in bush since we run a very real risk of getting lost in unfamiliar territory.

Tit Check:  normally a circle of paper with a central dot, indicating that female members of the hash should go checking for the trail, whilst the men lounge around and watch the rear view of said female members as they go.

Dick Check:  a newly suggested check point that currently does not have a sign, where the male members must go look for trail.

The False Trail:  the false trail is any trail that is not the real one.  A false trail can be of any length (some have been 1 mile long), but must be clearly marked at its end by a false trail sign.

The False Trail Sign:  this is three piles of paper arranged in a triangle.  more paper is usually used for this sign than normal.  At the false trail sign hashers are supposed to call "False Trail" and return to the point where the check point was seen.

A hash trail can be of almost any length, but most commonly is between 3 and 7 miles long (including the false trails), although we have have a few 10 and 12 milers.
The trail may also be of any shape, circle and square being the most common.  Care must be taken to ensure that if the trail crisscrosses, there is no confusion between the on trail and the back trail.

In areas of agriculture, the trail should be kept away from plant beds, no matter how over grown they look ... those bushes might be food!!

A local guide is usually very useful if you are setting a trail in jungle that you don't know.  they may be able to make suggestions that will make the run more interesting (Chinese style interesting).

FINANCIAL CONSIDERATIONS:  The hash normally asks $2,000.00 for a town (G/T) run and more for out of town runs.  In most cases $2,500.00 is sufficient for an out of town run, but these costs are calculated on a 25 runner hash, with food from German's Restaurant (we have an arrangement  ... $15,000.00 for food), and a maximum of $35,000.00 for drinks, ice, plates, cups etc.

Food costs vary according to location, but in most cases should not exceed $15,000.00.

Beers, the life blood of the hash (Banks) can be purchased from any wholesaler, and the hash has a supply of bottles that is used to exchange ... regular Banks bottles are recycled and a deposit is paid when you purchase beer without the bottles.

Please ensure that all regular banks beer bottles are returned to the Dicktator.

The normal meeting place for the G/T hash is in front of the British High Commission as being the most central point for every one (but mainly because the first Guyana hashers were British!!!).
Time of meeting depends mainly of where the run will be held.  The further away it is, the earlier the meeting.

Of late, most hashes have been held on Sunday, because most of the local hashers work on Saturdays, but this is not set in stone, only as a convenience.

Note: a new hare will usually be paired with a veteran hare.  Again not set in stone, but it works out better since the vet knows how to set trail, and the newbie may have new trail ideas/locations.


Now that you have been given the salient points about setting a hash run, get out there, volunteer and set one!!!!

SIGNED


CHOPSUZUKI
THE DICKTATOR

Monday, June 6, 2011

Run #605 Merissa's nightmare

Well, everybody's clothes survived Merissa's onslaught more or less, and everybody got to the on on intact...  yay hash!

  picture for this post would be appreciated, since the Dictator did not go on this run, sending the grand mattress in his stead.


New virgins were deflowered and sinners duly punished.

Note: Sumintra Brown has been rechristened (run #604) and now and forever shall be known to the hashing world as "Turtle Cum"

Sonia Singh completed her 11th (run #605) and was named Highway Doucher  (almost got Douche Baggette  ....  so close!!)

The next run will be up in Linden, hosted by the Linden branch of the peace corps.

2 weeks saturday  meet at the BHC pm    details to follow.

ChopSuzuki 






Deaf Lesbian's contributions

Deaf Lesbian has kindly given us these pictures to add to our collection.





The first is of a prat who decided to show us what a great artist he was, on the side of the bus that took us to Omai.  Obviously by the way he spelt deaf he was dyslexic!!!!
The second I am not sure about.  Does anyone recognise that face?

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

RUN #604 -- "MERRISA'S NIGHTMARE, RUN 605"

Well now, after a moderately successful Vodka till I die hash, with the grand mattress providing the mobile drink stops, and then everyone stumbling into the GM's place in one piece, after which everyone then proceeded to get seriously plastered .. sinners for shortcutting, new shoes (drank out of em), front running and rear enders were doused virgins were deflowered and otherwise debauched.

Good now that you have recovered enough to read this message ..... IMPORTANT CORRECTION!!!! ....

THE HASH ON SATURDAY 4TH WILL BE MEETING AT THE HIGH COMMISSION AT 1.30PM, AND NOT 3 PM AS WAS PREVIOUSLY DESCRIBED.

THE RUN WILL BE UP ON THE HIGHWAY:


 will meet at 1:30pm in front of the BHC on Saturday, June 4. Please note we will LEAVE AT 2pm! This means frickin' LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE at 2pm! Not 2:01 nor 2:05 nor 2:30! Hash Cash will be  $2,500.00. Trail will be shiggy. You don't know what "shiggy" means? What a bunch of wankers! http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=shiggy  Bring change of clothes to replace those shredded to pieces by a screaming and flailing Merissa who will terrorize all who had the misfortune to cross her path that day. On In will take place in a creek infested by caimans  AND Labaria . Shotguns recommended.

And, now, a word from our sponsor:








Monday, May 16, 2011

Run No: 604 A Rum Till I Die episode

Well now that you have suffered through the trials and tribulations of the Linden run, it is now time for a reward (if you want to call it that!!).

 The next run of the Guyana Hash House Harriers will be held this weekend Sunday 22nd May 2011.

Meeting at the British High Commission  on Main Street at 3pm.  From there we will go where ever the booze
takes us   .... not forgetting the shredded paper and the pink elephants!!

Hash Cash is $2,000.00 and we expect you to bring a partner or a friend, failing which, bring an enemy since after this run your friends and partners may well become enemies anyhow!!  Har Har Har!!

See you through the bottom of your glass

The dread Hash Dictator

ChopSuzuki


Thursday, May 12, 2011

Linden Hash Run May 14th!

Hello Everyone!

The Hash is set for Saturday Morning 9 am meet at the British High Commission. From there we will travel to Linden for a One Day Run, accommodations is being checked for those who wish to stay in Linden overnight. Transportation will be arranged for those who do not or cannot find a seat for the trip out. The hash cash is two thousand Guyana dollars. For those needing to use the bus we can work out the details of the cost between the passengers.

If anyone has questions please call me at 600-7386.

Hope to see you there!


Wes

Thursday, April 7, 2011

History of Hash House Harriers


Run # 601 The Ministry of Education Cricket Grounds, March 27th 2011

Thanks to the Hares Allen (Deaf Lesbian) and Nicolas we got a tour of Georgetown. The Hash began at 4pm after welcoming some new members and out of town visitors. Beginning at the British High Commission the streets of Georgetown offered many false leads. One joyful twist to the run was the adoption of 'women only' searches for false trails. This devious policy was introduced by Deaf Lesbian, and idea born from a different hash house, nevertheless enthusiastically accepted by the men of GHHH. The run took us through Georgetown, the ever so lovely Lamaha Canal, Thomas Lands, a brief respite at the seawall and then onto the cricket grounds. 


 What happens after at the end of Hash?!