Sunday, April 15, 2007

The day dawned cool, bright & clear with glorious morning sunshine as some 35 or so of us gathered in the avenue just opposite the small British Palace on Main Street. 10:30 a.m. was the scheduled departure time, and not wanting to disappoint our proud (or dishonorable as some of you might be grumbling) record of tardiness and cunctation, the Hash left at 11:05.

Half an hour later on the East Bank Highway, boiling, black clouds steamrolled over the landscape and it wasn’t long before a massive downpour plunged from the heavens. It would recede a bit though by the time we got to the location of the run at “Marudi Creek” on the Sosedyke/Linden Highway.

After waiting for about fifteen minutes for Baby Jesus (I heard he is the Web Masturbater and sometime Grand Master), Swampy and Gypsy Bitch to arrive, Chop Suzuki summoned the VIRGINS (Not to be confused with biological virgins, who are very rare in hashing and invariably male) to give them his little pep talk about how they can preserve their pureness.

One of the first things I noticed was this “virgin” who was wearing something that looked like a ballet shoe or a bedroom slippers of some sort. I thought poor gal, if she only knew what was in store for her later.

Things got underway, with quite a few running and most taking a leisurely stroll through the rain----You would have thought the rain would have gotten them to free up their legs, but it was business as usual.

It wasn’t long before we got to the first check point and for Front Running Paperless Bastard to live up to his name and completely run past a false trail mark to god knows where (what a showoff!!).

About 20 minutes into the run we came across a small Creek which was just above knee height for most of us and a cakewalk to cross. Nonetheless, the Short Cutting Bastards couldn’t resist the urge to try and get around the holy water which looked like a running stream of El Dorado Rum.

Out of the creek and into the …creek. This time we descended upon this small “resort” that is owned by a GRA Customs officer. After expending little effort to convince the owners (we told them Birdy Num Num was a journalist with National Geographic and was doing a full length feature for the magazine; suckers!!! They bought the whole story) to let us use the small pond as part of our trail. Everyone got in except for the virgin with the ballet shoes; she had to be “escorted” by Birdy Num Num and Mr. GEM (Simeon Corbin). Birdy Num Num, with the virgin in hand, even performed a sacred water ritual while the rest of us sang the hymns; great stuff!!

On!! On!! We went through a swamp and jungle for about half of an hour (by this time we had the front runners howling and making all sorts of primal noises; maybe because they knew what was in store ahead).

We finally got out the swamp and came out at the edge of a sand cliff. The hares came forward to inform us that we had two (or three; I really can’t remember) options to use to get to the bottom of the cliff. I remember the “baby” option (I took this rout, just in case you were wondering) and the “fear factor”. Most of the Hashers (except for three) took the Fear factor. The fear factor entailed that you had to go down a rather steep portion of the cliff using a rope (the rope bit turned out to be optional with some of the guys jumping down). As expected, there was some drama for some coming down (one female virgin took about 10 minutes to get down), but all things being considered, everyone did laudably.

From then on it was a relatively easy passage back to the starting point.

I have to gather some info as to what went on at the On In and let you guys know which Hashers with Hash-crimes from the trail got abused.

On! ON!


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